All posts tagged: self discovery

Thank You Haute Yogi!

My previous experiences with Bikram yoga, many years ago, were not pleasant. I would always feel nauseous like I was going to pass out and die – I even had to excuse myself once so I could go and be sick in the bathroom. I gave it a few tries and then decided it just wasn’t my sort of thing, convincing myself that I’m a Vinyasa flow type of gal, nothing more to it. But a few months ago, there was a challenge at a local studio and I decided to give it a try. It’s been quite a ride and I’m now hooked, but not for the reasons you’d expect. I’m very much in my head at all times and a strong, fast, flow allows me to forget all distractions – I’ve always considered it my moving meditation. However, in hot yoga, the poses are held longer, there’s the unnatural heat one must deal with, and no music … what’s going to motivate me?! Towards the end of my first slow, methodical, focused, unbearably …

The When, Where, and Why of a Yoga Selfie

A few weeks ago I was at a reggae festival with my son. We were backstage, and I thought how cool it would be to do a headstand on the grass with the stage in the background: “What yogis do when backstage.” I asked my son if he could take a picture of me, which he thought was pretty cool, and then I started looking around for the perfect place. All of a sudden, I was taking way too long to figure this out and I heard a “come on mom, this is perfect!” At that moment it hit me: why am I having a picture taken here? What’s the point? Is there any educational value in it? Any growth? The answer was NO. Yes, it would have been a cool picture to post on Instagram, and everyone who knows me, knows I place a very high priority on having fun, but this just wasn’t me, it’s not who I am. In the Bhagavad Gita, we are told to question the motivation behind actions. Are …

Lessons Learned …

As the L.A. Marathon approaches I was reflecting on my experience last year. I ran and finished the marathon at 190lbs (I have never shared this number before!)- the only other time I’d ever been close to this weight was when I was about to give birth to my daughter, and I quickly lost all my baby weight soon after. However, when my daughter was around 3, I started gaining weight: it was a combination of lifestyle changes, lack of exercise, and stress. Soon I was too embarrassed to go to my usual yoga class, too embarrassed to run, and so my exercising slowly came to a halt which, of course, led to more weight gain. For so long I equated my physical appearance with self-esteem, how people liked me, how social I was, and when I no longer looked like my idea of my perfect self, I began to fall into a deep spiral of self hate. I would wake up in the morning and hate the person staring back at me, I felt ugly, unattractive, …